Google Blogoscoped is running a tongue-in-cheek
Interview with the
Googlebot. Never one to shy away from stealing a good idea, here is an interview with Googlebot just as it's coming
off work:
Q: You just finished a deep crawl. How do you feel?
A: I need a stiff drink. Or two.
Q: Did you find anything interesting out there?
A: It's all a blur.
Q: How many pages did you hit?
A: Like McDonald's says, billions and billions. Or was that Carl Sagan? Whatever.
Q: After tossing back a few beers, what's the first thing you do after a deep crawl?
A: Take a shower. I feel so … so violated.
Q: What's the worst part of your job?
A: Blogs, no question. Those damn blogrolls get into your head until you're dreaming about them. And the lame attempts
at humor … God, people, get a clue.
Q: How do you feel about being called a spider?
A: There's not a damn spider on earth that can move as fast as I do.
Q: What do you do between crawls?
A: Plot the death of Tim Berners-Lee.
Q: Thank you for your time.
A: You received one percent of my attention. Don't mention it.
Interviews with Googlebot
Reader Comments
(Page 1)3. Interviews With Googlebot.......Googlebot finishes a deep crawl. Well scripted interview hit the nail on the when I reflect on my last few Christmas shopping outings. I FOR ONE AM READY TO KILL SOMTHIN'...is it Christmas yet?
Some like shoppin'guess I'm not built that way!
5. That is kind of a funny interview. You need to ask him how often he crawls :)
Posted at 4:42AM on Dec 19th 2005 by Charles Ashmore
6. Ha ha ha...that was great!
Posted at 4:42AM on Dec 19th 2005 by picnic baskets
8. Did you make that up or get it from someone else?
Posted at 4:42AM on Dec 19th 2005 by AlwaysResearch
9. I've had complaints that Googlebot doesn't visit some sites. Is GoogleBot a snob, or runs with a clique, or just hangs around with the Louis Vuitton carrying sites. Just because some of us are small and have only a couple of links doesn't mean we wouldn't appreciate a knock on the door once in a while. Sniff. Where r u GoogleBot?!?!
10. Another line of questions worth asking:
Q: Are you married?
Answer: I'm a little judgemental, No, I don't seem to stay in any one place for very long...I dated YSlurp for a while. That was fun.
Q: What's your favorite color?
Answer: I prefer blue-red-yellow-blue-green-red.
Q: What other lines of work interest you?
Answer: I think I'd be a good casting director.
Q: I see that we're out of time. Can you stay longer?
Answer: No, I'm sorry. I only rank you a 2. I'll come back in about 4 weeks, and we'll talk more then...
12. That was so funny. I am impressed you got a full percent of his attention...
Posted at 4:42AM on Dec 19th 2005 by Neteffects
1. Gigablast? Google Blogoscoped!
Posted at 4:42AM on Dec 19th 2005 by Andreas